Patient
Hello Dr. Basshole. I was wondering if you offer foot detox therapy.

Dr Basshole
That is quackery. There is no proof that it works. As a doctor I am shocked that people are subjected to such garbage..

Patient
Well I’m glad you saved my money by telling me this.

Dr. Basshole
Yes . Well here is some Nerveremedy. This will detoxify your nerves.

Patient
Thank you.

Dr. Basshole
And here is some Formulation 3. It will detoxify your nails.

Patient
Thank you.

Dr. Basshole
And here is your Amerigelatin. It will detoxify your skin.

Patient
Thank you doctor.

Dr. Basshole
Now sit down while I do low energy shock wave therapy to detoxify your heels.

Patient
Wow. All this. I’m so glad I came to see you. A real doctor. It makes me mad to think how some people can be allowed to sell fake therapies.

Dr. Basshole
I know just what you mean. When would you like to have me schedule your hype for cure stents to detoxify your sinus tarsi.

Patient
Well it’s up to you doctor. I know how important stents are to your health.

Dr. Basshole
Yes they are. Oh, you can pick up your balance braces next week to detoxify your cerebellum.

Patient
You are a great man Dr. Basshole.

Dr. Basshole
I am. It’s my job to protect to you from these quacks. Terrible what these people will do. You’ll be safe with me.
You’re Ass theory orthotics will be delivered Tuesday. They will detoxify your wallet.

Patient
My wallet ?

Dr. Basshole
Oh I’m sorry. Did I say that ? I meant midtarsal joint.