OK let’s call this meeting to order.  We’ve seen the letter.  Apparently, The Podiatry Post has published this so people now know we got a kick in the ass and thrown out the door by the real doctors.  Sooner or later people will see this letter.  How should we handle this?

Executive Director:

I think that we should publish the letter in the Podiatry Management annual shoe issue.  That way we can say we published it.  Nobody reads that shit so we can publish it there.  Why don’t you ask Barry to do one of his great editorials for that issue.  Something like how the M.D. degree will interfere with your ability to sell shoes and orthotics.  Something like that.  We could have him talk about how dependent, society is on podiatrists for proper fitting of shoes. That will probably work

Larry Santi:

I think we have a lawsuit here. We can argue that the M.D.’s don’t want fat drooling people around them who run up large food bills.  You know, like Ira or Dennis or me.  This is clearly anti-fat guy prejudice. Why don’t we consult with legal counsel about this.  Just make sure the APMA pays the bills for the lawyers.  Like they always do. Sorry about the saliva spray by the way.

Jeffrey DiSantis:

I have a better idea. Why don’t we bring legal action against them for failure to accommodate the intellectually challenged. Hear me out on this before you say no. They met Ira and myself and probably think that we are, let us say, less than accomplished academically.  They probably think we are of the idiot moron IQ level. This is prejudice against challenged individuals. We can get deposition testimony from Elliot the Idiot or some of the biomechanics experts.  A jury might be impressed with the fact that there is prejudice against challenged individuals and allow us to take the test or even give us an M.D. degree by default.

Puncha Puncha Pat DeHeer:

I think the way to get around this is to distract the membership. First of all let’s tell them that they need to donate more money to the political pack and that is the reason this effort failed. I also think we need to have more seminars on equinus and how my bullshit brace is better than anything else to cure the problem. We can include another half dozen lectures on why my brace is so important.  After all we’ve done that before and we can do it again.

Executive Director:

These are all great ideas. I think we need to issue a statement that we rejected them.  That’s right, will tell them that we do not want to take their stupid test.  Why?  Because they made too many demands in order to sit for the test.  You know, like having to have a knowledge of general medicine.  Can you imagine that ?  Look at the leadership of the AAPPM.  Why the hell would you need to know anything about medicine to sell balance braces, or creams and lotions. I think that’s the ticket.  We don’t need them for what we do.

Jeffrey Lehrman:

Excuse me while I pull my hot dog out of the executive directors oven. Now, I can help. Of course you need to hire me as a consultant since I have a one day a week practice and nothing else to do.  More importantly, I will look up all the relevant codes for treatment by a Doctor who have been rejected from taking the USMLE.  I am certain there are codes for that. If we advertise this right, we can get a whole room full of people the day before the New York State clinical meeting.  Plus I’m sure Barry will print any horse shit that I have to say.  Just send out an ad stating how the code for a “not real doctor” providing services can actually pay more but that you have to code properly or could end up getting audited and become the love child for a former NFL linebacker now serving time.  It’ll work. I tell you. I know.  I am a consultant.