Well now, let’s see what the DPM, another non-MD profession, has contributed to CoV SARS 2.care. 

There have been recent articles published examining care of eye glasses and contact lenses in this day of Covid 19.  Articles looking at the possibility (or lack thereof) of disease transmission and appropriate preventive efforts.  Many of these articles, published in credible journals, are authored by O.D.’s.  That’s correct.  Optometrists contributing useful information regarding the prevention of disease transmission and propagation. 

1. Wear good fitting socks and shoes when running.  I  suppose absent the novel CoV SARS-2 pandemic wearing ill-fitting socks and shoes is acceptable.

2. Another money grab, this one called FAN (“Foot and Ankle News”).  Let’s see, who is behind this one.  Treace ?  Our favorite Chicago hustler, Weil ?  Indeed.  More 6,000  Lapidus procedures will help curtail this pandemic.  And as a bonus, enhance your future position with insurance carriers.

3. Talar Medical offers you a free webinar detailing why you should give more money to Ira and the APMA board members who are investors in Talar Medical.  Including the current and next President.  Rumor has it that with decreased patient visits to podiatry offices, Talar Medical revenues are so diminished, that big boy Ira has been reduced to only 2 entrees and 3 desserts for dinner. The only thing these cretins and their supply business can contribute to you and the novel CoV 19 problems you face is toilet paper.  And maybe some bourbon and vodka to help you get through this disaster.

4. Continued in fact increased hawking of laser sales.  Lasers.  The ultimate Podiatric antiviral therapy.  Make certain the masks you wear while “lasering away” are effective for RNA as well as DNA virus.  If alcohol and soap can kill the little buggers, surely a laser will do the same.  Personally, I tried to do this on the cheap.  I bought a taser instead of a laser. Tried it on 3 patients.  Doesn’t work to remove the warts or nail fungus.  But was excellent for removing the patient’s wallet while they convulsed a bit in the podiatry chair.  

Nothing better than getting your co-pay on the date of service is what I always say.  

5. A podiatry CoV-19 purple toe registry.  Just perfect.  ” Sure you cracked your toe going to the toilet last night.  And now you have a blue toe.  And yes I know you take warfarin. However, we podiatrists are an integral part of the corona virus team.  I suggest a 24 day quarantine.  And please pay your bill today just in the unlikely event you are infected “.

6. Things that work for warts on the foot work for corona virus.   Ahh forget that.  DNA, RNA, skin, lungs, what’s the difference.  Besides, who would be dumb enough to think this way.  Or dumb enough to print it ?

7.  Shoes with mustaches.  Need we say more ?

So realistically, other than helping to carry dead bodies to the morgue, what can we offer ?   I say this is where we as a profession can shine.  Like the optometrists, yes we can contribute.  Look for the following coming soon to PM News:

“Orthotic and arch support care with the CoV-19 pandemic”.  You know it’s coming.  Probably with a photo of one of the PM News regulars.  Wash your orthotics with alcohol. 

Wash your hands before and after touching your orthotics.  And when tying your shoes.  Be certain to wash your socks.  With a good detergent. 

“Sterishoe prevention of corona virus transmission”.   After all, it is an ultraviolet light isn’t it ?  Perhaps we will hear from our esteemed dermatology and infectious disease experts (recognized only in podiatry and by PM News).  Facts and studies not required.  You know, the ones who previously told us how great lasers and disco lights in shoes work. 

 Good opportunity for increased office sales.  Less expensive than a laser.  Or a taser.

“California podiatrist is keynote speaker in Abu Dhabi conference on CoV-19 and the foot”.   With sardonic appearing photo of a fake MD.  As usual.

“Subtalar joint implant prevents corona virus infection”.  Why not ?  They already claim it cures or prevents diabetes, heart disease, hip pain, back pain, pains in the ass. 

Probation (aka peri-Talar dislocation) prevents walking.  Not walking decreases health.  Decreasing health depresses the immune system. 

You can surmise the rest.  Ditto $600. orthotics 

“Frontal plane correction of the novel CoV19 SARS-2”.  Yep .  While it “appears” that some therapies “cure” the infection, what is the recurrence rate ? 

“California podiatrist delivers keynote lecture at Nigerian conference on corona virus and the foot”.   You can be assured with another scary photo of a fake MD with no hair on his head.

“Telemedicine for the podiatrist in this day on CoV-19 pandemic”.   Yes the AAPPM boys and the APMA butt-boy (aka Dr. Lehrman) need to make some money.  Telemedicine is critical to podiatry.  You need to know the rules and of course billing code details.  “Well Mrs. Goldberg, you’re toenail still appears thickened and deformed and discolored with subungual build up.  It appears the fungus has not responded to the $500. of unproven crap that I have shamelessly made you buy in the office.  We need to move on to the sterishoe.  If you give me your correct address and billing information, we can have this shipped to your home.  If this fails, we can move forward to laser surgery”.

“California podiatrist delivers keynote speech at Peruvian conference on corona virus and the foot”.  Another photo indeed.  In this one he’s actually the tallest guy, with a fake MD.

“California podiatrist delivers keynote address at the Antarctic conference on Covid-19 and the foot”.  The talk explained the difference between blue toes from corona virus and blue toes because it’s just too damn cold there.  Another photo indeed of a smiling fake MD.

I’ll tell you one thing about our important contributions to this pandemic.  There’s a certain Ohio congressman whom I am certain is glad he’s a congressman and not a practicing podiatrist.  Especially after hearing about the podiatry blue to registry.  He knows the truth.

The only active Podiatry Registry is the Cash Registry.